So recently I have been thinking about the 3-4 years of my life that I maintained a healthy weight. How did I get there? How did I stay there? What diet was I on? How much was I exercising? And I realized the most amazing thing...I wasn't! Damn it! The only time in my life that I wasn't on a diet I wasn't obsessing about my self image, my weight, my blub....was that time period.
So....then the question comes how the heck did I do it?!?!! And that my friends is an awesome thing, I was happy. I was so dang content. Life was good! Not to say I am not happy now...thank god I really am...but those years I was relatively stress free. I worked 3 jobs that I loved, lived at home with my loving parents, had lots of friends to drink with to hang out with to shmooze with, nephews and nieces to play with and then return, a workout routine that made me feel good and generally no worries in my foreseeable future.
Now the question is would I trade places no....Hell NO! I am lucky to be married to a terrific guy, I have 3 fabulous children, I finally figured out what I want to be when I grew up, Ive made more friends over the years, and when I want to pull out the grown up card I can, cuz gosh dang it I am almost 30!
I wouldnt mind not having tests in nursing school, my bills being paid without having to worry about it, my husband having his dream job, a nice vacation, my mental sanity etc etc etc...but thats life and there is no way to get to the good stuff if we don't go through the tough stuff. As far as tough stuff goes I'm glad I have my load and not someone elses!
Back to the magic of being my ideal weight...happiness! I need to find peace within myself. I need to believe that I am not better if I'm thinner, I'm just thinner if I'm thinner.
With this bit of schizo talk I will leave you cuz I need to get my hiney to bed.
Good Night World! I look forward to reading everyones comments in the morning.
